Monday, January 25, 2010

Monday, January 25th

I can't believe there is only another week in January. Where did the month go?????? Well I haven't exercised since last week. Not feeling so hot tonight. Nose is running and I've got 0 energy. I'm going to have a cup of Green Tea and head to bed soon.

Hope you all had a productive, relaxing weekend. Talk soon.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

January 21st, 2010

I'm here Shel. I've been busy. I must say that when I'm busy, I get totally thrown off my schedule and it takes me several days to get back. I've got to learn to deal with this. I've also learned that when I'm tired like I was on Monday and especially Tuesday of this week. I EAT!!!! Yes, I'm confessing I've been really bad. Today is Thursday and I'm feeling rested.

When I get busy I don't want to do ANYTHING! I don't know if others feel the same. I just have no desire to do school work, house work, or any other kind of work especially working out. I'm okay with this for now. I know I'll snap out of it, at least I hope I will. Part of the problem is that I've taken on too much which then means I can't deal with any of it. I'm on the right track to realizing this. I said it wasn't going to happen over night. I'm learning some stuff about myself which is what all of this is about.

Supervision is calling my name. Got to go.

Sunday, January 17, 2010


Just finished the closet. I've got about 20 pairs of pants that I can't wear right now. They are going in a plastic container to await their time. I'm giving away 2 huge orange garbage bags full of clothes. It's a lot of money being donated to charity. I can't even think right now of how much I've spent on clothes. No more spending like that.
I actually just went shopping in my closet and discovered that I've got quite a few things that I can wear with my new pants and jeans. No I've got to wear them. I think after grocery shopping I'm going to investigate outfits that I could put together. Perhaps taking a picture of them would be helpful.

January 17th, 2010

I'm purging today. The closet anyways. I've decided that it's time to start taking care of my insides as well as my outsides. I'm thinking some inappropriate clothing needs to disappear. Not that I've got a lot of that type of clothing but it's all the same. Long sleeve t-shirts, sweaters with v-necks, short sleeve t-shirts, etc. It's time to focus on me now. That's the job today.

I worked out and for the first time the 2o minutes didn't feel like it was enough of a workout. I was ready to really put in the time. So I played a little bit of tennis on the Wii after I finished the workout. I'm going to try and go for walk this afternoon with the dogs.

I bought a nice pair of dress pants, and some dressier jeans yesterday along with a cute sweater. I pulled out a blazer I'd kept from when I was this size last time. I know I've got some nicer dress shirts packed away as well. I think I'll pull that stuff out of storage and incorporate it with what I already have. The turtle necks are going. I don't think they are very flattering. I went to a higher end store here in GP called Fashionista. It was on the pricier side but I think the pants can be taken in when some more of the weight comes off. But for the time being I can wear more than one pair of pants. I looked on the Addition Elle and Pennington's websites and there isn't much as far as flattering clothes for larger ladies. I'm going to go and check out Addition Elle for a top or two. But first I'm going to go shopping in the drawers and my closet. Maybe I'll find something I like :-).

Yesterday a friend posted, To diet or not to diet. I replied back with go for it. It will make you feel better about yourself. If your thinking about it then I think its obvious that it's a change you want to make. I know it sure is for myself. It's interesting how we try to improve our teaching practice or our performance at our jobs or try to be a better parent, etc but when it comes to ourselves we hesitate and say, it's okay the way I am. I think sometimes, I settle because it's easier than putting the work into it. I found it interesting because her other friends told her to think of it as a lifestyle change. I don't think it matters if we call it a lifestyle change, best life, healthier you, Biggest Loser, program, or diet. We still want something better. So do it. I think it's important to realize that it's not going to happen within 2 or 3 weeks. It takes a while. That's the hard part. It took some time for it to come back on. I know it did for me. It felt like the weight just appeared, Boom!!!! But it didn't. It's been a year of eating after dinner, not exercising, eating after the eating after dinner, eating way too much food. We've all done it now it's time to accept what we've done and more on to better things.

I've said it before but it's really hard to do this. I just finished looking at women who've gone on the journey. Their pictures are posted on the Weight Watchers Canada site. They've been an inspiration. I know what their struggle has been like. One minute you're like, I can do this, the next it's, I'm okay with who I am. But we're not. I need to get out of this mind set. It's slowly happening and I know it's going to take time. I want to be able to walk up my stairs without huffing and puffing for air. I want to snow shoe for an hour without running out of steam. I want to look healthier and feel better. I don't want the aches and pains I've got now. I want to go camping to Ol'Macdonald's Farm and not sit in a lawn chair because my back hurts. I don't think this is too much to ask for. I'M GOING TO DO THIS.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Saturday morning

Got on the Wii Fit this morning. It told me it's been 357 days since I last stepped on it and that I've gained something like 25 pounds. Nice hey!!!! Nothing like seeing it in 42 inches right there. That was a wake up call. I did the Wii Fit but I think I still like the EA Sports Active better. I work more body parts and feel like I'm working out. I actually did both, each about 20 minutes.

Thanks Shel for the words of encouragement. I'm doing it because I know it's going to be good for me in the end but it's sooooooooooo hard. I was thinking to myself that it's okay to be this size because lots of other women are. I watched What Not to Wear last night and this woman looked fabulous in her clothes and then I kept thinking about how I dress, especially for work and it's blah. Trust me I'm not beating myself up over this but just thinking. I wear the same jeans because they're the only ones that fit right now. The same long sleeve t-shirts, etc. I've got nice clothes. Some don't fit right now actually lots don't fit. It's going to change. I think I need to go out and get myself a new pair of jeans, a cute sweater and a shirt. I need a pick me up. Plus, if I feel better on the outside I think that will help on the inside.

Lots is going on. Stuff I've got control of and other stuff that's cluttering up my head. I've got to get rid of it. I will in time I've just got to work through it. You're right Shel, the chocolate has to go in the garbage. I've eaten way too much of it since Tuesday. At the end of the day, it's calling my name, not literally but I just know it's there. When I head into work today I'm going to get it out of my site.

Have a great day. I know I will, the sun is shining here. It's terribly icing since the freezing rain. Maxx had a tough time getting up the path where he goes just now. I'm going to aim for a walk and a new outfit.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

January 14th evening

So I've got some confessions to make. On the way home from Peace River I ate 4 100 calorie chocolate bars. I just couldn't stop. I'd done really well up until it was time to come home. The drive home in the sleet and snow was stressful and I was so tired from the stress of the presentation. I've got to learn to deal with this kind of stress, eventually but not right now.

I've come home each day this week tired and really not very motivated. This weight loss/healthy lifestyle is really hard work. I guess it means it's hard work to take care of yourself and value yourself. When ever I get out of my "regular" schedule I find it difficult to keep on track. Traveling doesn't do good things to my body anyways. The food isn't the same, I can't always control what food is available, etc. I try my best to bring what I can but it doesn't always work out. I think the fact that I'm aware of this is a step in the right direction.

I came home today and before dinner I played the Wii, just tennis and boxing. I'm going to look at getting the Resort game for some more variety. I at least did this. My food intact has been okay. Although I've got to get rid of those left over chocolate bars in my classroom. I had one after school again today. I am counting them in my plan so it's not like I'm being dishonest.

I'm hoping I'm back on track. Tomorrow I'll get up and workout again. I think heading to bed after I'm finished writing this would help. I got about 9 hours of well deserved sleep last night. It's been a difficult day with a very difficult child in my room. He was so bad today. I just wanted him gone at the end. Tomorrow's a new day. Rest is a very good thing. I don't know how parents do it with kids, lack of sleep, husbands, wives, work, etc. My hats off to you all. Okay, I feel myself rambling so it's time to go. I'll write more tomorrow.

Keep it up. I'm back in the saddle as they say. I don't know who but I've heard it said before :-).

January 13, 2010

I'm here. Just worked out for first time in 4 days. Fell off the wagon but I got back on. Will write more tonight about experience. Off to shower and get ready for work.

So glad I got up this morning and did my workout.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Sunday Night Jan 10

So today was a really strange day. I couldn't focus on any one task. My mind was all over the place. Part of the reason is because I've got this presentation to do with teachers on math and I'm just not 100% sure I'm going to pull it off. I just really didn't want to work on the task. I eventually did and I'm hoping it's going to be okay.

I ate 4 chicken wings at a friends house. I was extremely stressed and mad at my husband for something stupid he said, really it's stress as to why I was mad. When I walked into her house I could smell them but never really thought much of it. I went into her office to help her with her computer. She came in with a bowl and there they were. 4 big, juicy wings. I said no thank you and continued to work but I saw her eating them and I couldn't resist. They were good. I felt guilty all day and could taste them everytime I swallowed. It's the guilt lingering. I did record them in my food log. I'm not proud of it but it was only 4 and I know it won't happen again. I knew that my inability to not focus would result in a slip. It's okay. I know it happens and I'm not beating myself up over it. I'm just recognizing that it happened.

Tomorrow's another day. I'm going to get up and exercise like I should. Work all day and then drive to Peace River to then give a presentation to teachers. I sure hope they've done their homework.


We just got back from a walk. I'd say this weekend I've been very active. Yesterdays snow shoe event was fun. I didn't have as much stamina as I'd like. It was really hard work. I was sweating up a storm by the time I returned. I think I started off too fast to try and keep up with some others and it got my heart really working. It's a great calorie burner if anyone was wondering.

I'm glad we went to friends house for dinner. I was zonked. Dinner was delicious. Salmon, crab, rice, vegetables. Len did a great job of cooking a 'fairly' healthy dinner. It was great to just relax after snow shoeing for the afternoon. Before I go I must remember to drink water. I was extremely dehydrated and that was part of my problem other than having 30 extra pounds I was packing around. I think that might be it :-). We met some people which was nice. Darcy even said that if we kept doing things like this he might even reconsider staying in GP. I've been trying to get him out for 4 years to do something like this. I guess he just needed time.

I'm heading into a busy week. I'm going to stay on program. I also need to drink more water on the weekends. Because my schedule is so different and more relaxed I relax on the drinking of the fluids.

Well I'm thinking I should go and work out to the Wii. Have a great Sunday everyone.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

January 9th, 2010

Well I week down. Overall I think it went very well. I'm pleased with getting up this week and working out. I'm actually starting to not feel so full. It helps that I'm tracking my food intake and not eating 2 hours before bedtime.

I do find that I'm constantly thinking about food. Not that I want to eat all the time but I'm thinking about what I put in my mouth and how that's going to affect my daily calorie intake. For instant we went out for dinner last night and had a steak, salad and sweet potato fries. Yes, I know we ate out twice this week but sometimes it's a reality in my life and I've got to learn to deal with it. Everyone else had dessert and they kept telling me to try some. I knew that if I had some I'd have another bit. Just knowing that I ate EVERYTHING on my plate even though I was full about 3/4 of the way into made me think about what I'd done.

It's interesting when you encounter this type of scenario because people want you to enjoy the food with you but it's hard for them to accept that you are okay not having a bit. I said "no thank you" about 5 times and it still was hard for them to register and accept my answer. I got through it. When I got home I did want to eat, not because I was hungry but because I was bored. It's been my habit for the past year. I'm happy to report that I didn't eat. Instead I went downstairs (if you think I'm going to say workout, your saddly mistaken) and watched Cougar Town. It sure made me laugh. It's what I needed.

Today's going to be a busy day. We're going snowshoeing. The weather is fabulous outside. But I've got to get some groceries, search for a bra, take the dogs to the vet because the might have dog lice and get myself organized to go out. The food shopping is the most important thing.

Still debating on working out because I am going snowshoeing which will burn a tonne of calories. We'll see how the morning goes.

Friday, January 8, 2010

January 8th, 2010

I'm sitting here enjoying my cup of coffee and typing away. I've completed my workout for the day. Holy crap was it challenging. I thought I was going to collapse before I was finished (only exaggerating a bit). The important part was that I finished. It's good thing the workout was so challenging because I'm going to be sitting for a meeting today. Can't get many steps in then.
My goal is to try and head out for a walk at our lunch break.

It's Friday and the weekend is here. Hooray!!! We survived our first week back at school from Christmas holidays. Part of me feels like I never had a break at all but I know I did. Well, I should be off to find a healthy breakfast to eat.

Have a great day everyone and remember, celebrate the small stuff.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

January 7th, 2010

I had a rest day today. I thought maybe I'd get up and do some yoga but it didn't work out so well because I hadn't slept really well. Since school has started I've just not been sleeping well. Too much on my mind and I can't turn it off.

Yesterday I was kind of thrown off schedule. We had a friend arrive in town and wanted to take us out for dinner. We chose sushi because we know it was a healthier choice. It does contain a lot of white rice. I'd had a california roll, yam tempura roll and salmon sashimi. I didn't realize california rolls were so high in calories. I didn't realize they were 245 calories each. Next time I'll make a better choice.

I'm at the end of my work week with my students. I've got a math meeting tomorrow. It's a shame because we had such a fantastic day. The students were so engaged creating their penguin rulers. They were on task, helping each other, comparing their rulers with each other, using the blocks and each others work to check to see if they were right. Lots of great conversations were had. It was a great way to end the week witht the kids.

I haven't eaten all my food for the day but I'm not sure I've got anything in the house that I can have. Plus I'm not sure I really want to eat right now.

Tomorrow I'm looking forward to getting up and working out. Having my coffee and then heading to math meeting. What more could a girl ask for :-).

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

January 6th, 2010

As I type the date I can't believe it's the 6th already. I'm up again as you can see from the time I post this blog. I got more sleep last night so it was a little easier to get out of the bed. It sure helps when your body knows it's tired and you fall asleep instantly as soon as you turn off the light.

I workout today wasn't as intense as it has been. I'm quite happy about that. I enjoy being up and it's nice and quiet. I get a chance to have my computer time without feeling rushed. Today I actually have 15 minutes.

The lunches are a bit on the boring side. I'm having a hard time thinking about what to take. I never thought I'd say this but I actually enjoy having left over for lunch. It makes my thinking process so much easier.

I could use a coffee while I type. It's still brewing.

I'm hoping today is going to be a bit calmer at school. Yesterday didn't start out so well. I was rushed and I think that set the tone for the whole day. As Ceasar Millan says, "Calm and assertive energy. Be the pack leader." I know it makes no sense but it's a state of mind I must be in with a certain "child" in my room.

Until later today. Have a fantabulous day!!!!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Today was CRAZY. Four kids cried today for various reasons perhaps cabin fever from bring inside at recesses for the last two days. I couldn't wait for the day to end at work. As I was finishing up at school, yay that's an oxymoron, like I'm ever finished at school, I was so tired. All I wanted to do was come home and relax. I'm so glad I worked out this morning and I don't have to do it tonight. It's still quite cold outside and because it's the first week back going for a walk when I get home might not be possible. I did log in close to 12000 steps today. I know that's got to count for something.

I'm relaxing by looking at some of my students math problems they did today. Yikes, do we have some work to do. That's for a different day. My goal is to get some sleep tonight and wake up refreshed and ready to workout in the early morning hours.

It was so nice to walk out of work today at 5:10 and see that it's a lot lighter outside than it was before Christmas.

Wish me luck tomorrow morning.

January 5th, 2010

I did it. I just finished. It was hard but I accomplished that goal. I didn't sleep much past 3:33 but I also went to bed at 9:30 and read until 10:00. I think I'll be going even earlier today. I can't write much because I've got to get ready for work. Muscles are still sore from the previous days workout. I sure hope this "burn" goes away.

Monday, January 4, 2010

January 4th, 2010

Today was the first day of school after having two weeks off. I'm so tired right now I can hardly keep my eyes open. I'm thinking about going to bed right now.

I didn't sleep well because I was afraid I would miss my alarm clock and sleep in. Instead I was up about every two hours. I need my sleep. Hopefully tonight will be better.

I haven't done any exercise today because I can barely move or walk up stairs from the squat and holds I had to do in yesterdays exercises.

I've done well with my food today. At the staff meeting there was cheese and sausage with crackers. One of my favourites. I didn't have any. Another proud moment. Instead I took my yogurt, veggies and hummus with me. I ate while my administrator talked.

My goal is to get up and exercise tomorrow morning before work. This would require me to set the alarm for 5:45 about 45 minutes before I normally get up. I sure hope I can do this. Because I'm so tired all I want to do is eat. I've had a cup of green tea but it's not working. I'm going to dive into some work and then go to bed.

Wish me luck on reaching my goal tomorrow morning.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Sunday Night

Well I did it again. I ventured out into the cold abyss of -28. Yikes!!!! I didn't realize it was that cold. No wonder my bum was cold. I just purchased a new pair of ski pants. Got a great deal. They sure helped with trudging through the snow covered sidewalks. Wearing a pair of supportive hiking boots/winter boots also helped the ankles.

Again, I'm proud of myself. I was starving before dinner tonight. I'm trying to cook around the same time (5:30ish) so I keep on a schedule. I didn't eat instead I stayed in my office and worked.

Now it's crunch time and I'm feeling some stress. I've got what seems like a million things to do and it's getting close to bed time. I'm wanting to relax away from work and the computer. Once I'm done this post and logging in my exercise and food on Best Life I'm going to relax.

Wish me luck tomorrow. It's going to be a busy day with the 7 year olds. I know one who's going to be very tired and challenge me.


January 3rd, 2010

Didn't have the best sleep last night. My husband forgot to turn the heat down. Anyways, that was my complaining for the day :-).
Just finished the workout. I love the fact that I can workout in my pj's in my own home. Had to do squat and holds. Do you know how hard that it? My legs are on fire right now. I don't think I can walk. Obviously I need some work on that area of my body along with other areas as well.

Tomorrow is rest day which I'm happy about because it will be challenging enough to get up and function first thing in the a.m. for school.
I'm going to enjoy my day by getting myself organized for work tomorrow. I've got quite a bit of planning to do to be ready for those kids. I'm excited to see them tomorrow. Planning is essential for success.

Off I go to plan for the day. He, he.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

After the Movie

I went to go and see Nine. Still not sure about it. It wasn't what I was expecting. I'm still thinking about it. I'm SOOOOO proud of myself. I didn't have any popcorn. I took my almonds and chocolate chips and munched on them while my friend quietly ate her popcorn. I must say, I did miss it but I didn't feel so full when leaving the theatre.

I came home and popped in the Chicken Pot Pie. Had that with a nice salad. Hmmm! It's so much easier to be planned but it sure takes some time.

After dinner I put on my new bellaclava that my husband bought me and headed out for a walk. It was cold (-22 with a windchill). I did it. Tomorrow my goal is to do it again.

I'm going to relax for a bit and then hit the hay.

January 2nd, 2010

I was tired this morning. I think it's the activity I did yesterday and the lack of sleep. I feel good now. I would like to start getting back into routine. Sleeping in until 8:30 is great but getting up at 7:00 or 7:30 would be better for accomplishing something in the morning.
I'm behind schedule but I'm not going to let it bother me.

I've worked out to the Wii Personal Trainer (would recommend to anyone). I've logged my food and activity. I've even done a bit of school work in there.

I think the secret to my success might be timing myself, especially when it comes to work and "playing/working" on the computer. Giving myself a time limit and then sticking to it. Today will be the test when I go to school. Sometimes there are so many things to get done and I want to get them all complete but it's impossible. So the end result might just be either, having a shorter to do list, prioritizing or not going to school. Ha, if only that was the case.

Just thinking about work is causing me some stress. It's been so nice to just "relax" and not think about work. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job. It's all the little things that bog me down. Planning, preparing, marking, changing calendar, etc. Well planning and prepping aren't little things. If I'd spend the time planning and prepping I wouldn't be going day to day. Hmmm!! Something to ponder for sure. Sorry about the rant but I need to deal with these feelings because they're a big part of my over eating and lack of exercise.

I'm heading to a movie this afternoon with a friend. I'm NOT going to have popcorn. I'm sneaking in water and perhaps some almonds and other healthier choices. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm frowning at the thought of not having popcorn. Oh well such is life.

I'm also going to attempt a walk in the snow and cold temperatures. Wish me luck.

Friday, January 1, 2010

After Dinner

This time of day is the worst for me these days. I'm feeling like I didn't have enough for dinner and so I want to start snacking now. Instead of going for the Shreddies and milk or the chips. I'm having cherries and a kiwi. I'm also boiling water for a cup of tea.

We just got back from my school where I picked up a few things that I'm needing before we start back again on Monday. I can't believe how quickly two weeks can go.

It's been a great Christmas and holiday. I've enjoyed not really doing a whole heck of a lot. I just remembered that I must drink more water before I go to bed.

I think over all I've had a great start to the new year. Tomorrow brings a whole other set of challenges. I've got to do some work at school. How do I fit in exercise, rest and work? I know I'll be going to bed at a descent time tonight. Sleep is so important.

January 1st, 2010

Today is not only the start of a new decade but it's the start of my new journey to balance my personal life, career, health and wellness. It's a big task but I'm game for it. Enough is enough.

As I was celebrating New Year's Eve last night I was realizing that we all vow to make some kind of change in the new year but we (some of us) sure don't start off really well. We start off staying up way too late, eating too much food, and perhaps drinking too much alcohol. When I woke up this morning, I was tired, full and lazy. How can we expect to start fresh when we don't allow ourselves to start off with sleep, an empty stomach and no hangover (I don't have a hangover). I did reframe from drinking last night.

I'm impressed with myself today. I actually got up and walked 5 km today in the cold (-20 degrees celsius here). I feel great. I've eaten properly, so far. I'm relaxing right now because my ankles hurt from not wearing supportive shoes. I'll get over it.

I'm feeling good, relaxed and ready to partake on this journey that will help me.