Saturday, April 17, 2010

Dinner & A Movie - April 16/10

I did a great job. I'm so proud of myself tonight and all day. I wanted to eat everything today but I didn't. After work, I rode my bike home and walked in the door, took the dogs out and I was hungry. I looked for a snack because I knew I was going for dinner tonight and I only had 15 points left. Dinner would take at least 11 or 12 points. I searched my book and fridge and found brushetta and triscuts. I calculated the points and I had that for a snack instead of cashews, salt & vinegar chips, cereal, etc. I was still hungry but at least the bite was gone. I had myself a shower to revitalize myself and off we went.

Our friends didn't show until 8:30. I'm so glad I ate when we got there. I wouldn't have been able to survive. I ordered an 8 oz. steak, mashed potatoes and grilled veggies. For me it was a healthier choice than fries. I cut the steak in half and brought the rest home. I ate slowly and enjoyed my food. It was delicious.

Then Darcy ordered the White Chocolate Brownie, one of our favourite desserts. It was huge. I didn't eat a bite. Not even a lick of the spoon. It was so hard to resist it but I did it. I'm picking my hard. We then went to the movie and everyone had popcorn and I didn't. Again, I picked my hard.

I'm so proud of myself. I didn't want to cheat the first week because it would have discouraged me. I'm so happy I didn't. I'm staying up to write this but I know I can sleep in tomorrow, not that I will.

Tomorrow is shopping for some groceries and meal planning.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Hunger or Boredom

So at this moment in the afternoon. All I want to do is head to the candy dish in the office and take a Skinny Cow (that's really not a good name for a candy). Either these or something from the vending machine. I'm resisting by writing about my feelings, chewing gum and drinking my water. My stomach feels full but I'm apparently not satisfied or bad habits are kicking in.

I'm so resisting the urge to eat my fruit that I've got saved for afternoon snack because I know after school I'm going to be really hungry. I always am.

I'm stressed about my kids performing at the assembly today. I know they'll do great but I can't help but feel that there performance is a reflecting of my teaching. Yikes!!!!! That's why I hate these stupid assemblies.

Other than that, yesterday was a great day. The weather is so nice. I've been riding my bike to school which feels great. I went for along walk yesterday afternoon with a friend. I was tired last night. Went to bed early.

Food yesterday went well. Wasn't hungry at all. Today I think it's because my fridge is bare and I didn't have a really filling breakfast that I'm feeling hungry. It could also be because it's Friday and I want this one child to go on holidays sooooooo badly. Have two weeks away from him will be heavenly. I'll still have the odd one who wants to act out but this one is a lot of work. He's testing the boundaries these days.

I know this sounds terrible but there are some kids out there that are odd and he's one of them. He upsets the apple cart everyday. Enough about him, this blog is about me, me, me and more me. Just kidding.

I'll behave, I promise.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Thur. April 14th, 2010

I joined Weight Watchers last night. I'm so glad I did. I really didn't want to but I knew deep in my gut that it was going to be the best thing for me. The leader Joanne is fabulous. She's had her own struggles with weight as well.

I wanted to just get somethings out there. I was afraid to step on the scale. I know I was in the low 200's but I didn't realize how far up there I was. I am setting a record for myself, the heaviest I've ever been. I'm ashamed to write it but it has to be put out there. It's a number and IT'S going to change.

I'm not happy with it but it's my reality right now so as Joanne said, "it's hard to be fat, it's hard to change or your lifestyle and it's hard to maintain it, pick which one you want." I'm picking to change. I've got to. My body is telling me load and clear that it's not happy with packing around an extra 30 pounds everyday on top of the extra weight it already packs around from years past. I've said it before, my back hurts everyday because I've gained a bunch of weight.

I've got to head off. I'm riding my bike to work as a way to get some exercise. Kind of ease me into it. I don't think it's going to be a pleasant ride because if it hurts sitting on the toilet then it's for sure going to hurt on the tiny bike seat. Ouch!!!! Wish me luck.

I'm going to do better about logging in how I feel and how it's going. I PROMISE!!!!