Holidays

I'm finally here, actually I've been here for about three days already. Before we left Grande Prairie we'd been dealing with some stressful things. Really sick dog, report cards, parent teacher interviews, sick dog, etc.

I really haven't been accountable to myself. I'm not sure what's up. I started taking vitamin D because I've just been gloomy lately. I'm soooooo tired of winter. It can go away and never come back for all I care.

Of course the whole packing of shorts and t-shirts was a nightmare. Bathing suit included in the list. Do the shorts still fit? What the hell do I look like? Etc. All of the thoughts were running through my head and let me tell you they were not positive thoughts to say the least. It's a good thing the Lululemon shorts are stretchy because I've been living in them since I got here.

We went for a walk yesterday. It was absolutely beautiful here. I actually went to the pool and sat for awhile. Nobody was there except some old men and a lady who was about my size. Let's call her Anne, I've seen her before at functions at the pool or with other people around the complex. She's always so nicely dressed, especially for a bigger lady. There are often times I look at her and go she's beautiful. The clothes she buys, bathing suits, pants, suits, etc. Why can't I find clothes like that. Well for one reason GP doesn't sell anything like that. You can't find nice clothing for big women in Grande Prairie. It's impossible. Don't get me wrong you've got your typical tent t-shirt and elastic polyester pants but nothing stylish. There are not a lot of stylish woman in GP who are bigger.
Maybe I could be a tend setter???? I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here other than I've realized I don't take care of myself and then I beat myself up over it, I eat more, beat myself up, don't take care of myself, etc. It's a terrible cycle. I looked at a lot of the clothes at the store and thought that's really cute or I would like it but when it comes down to it I don't want to draw attention to myself so I fade away into the back ground but ends up happening is I draw negative attention to myself because I look so plain and dowdy.

I need a Stacy and Clinton makeover.

Heading out for a walk.

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. If you live in Alberta I would imagine many of you woke up relaxed because you've got another day to relax and spend time with your loved ones. Don't we all love long weekends? I know I sure do.
The weather is fabulous this weekend, at least in Grande Prairie it is. I walked yesterday, Yay for me!!! Today we plan on going out again.
We had friends over last night. Dinner was a healthy choice. Had some snacks after wards but I tried to make healthy chip choices. That actually sounds like an oxymoron. I don't think chips can be healthy but they can be a better choice than others.
The goal is to get up and be active.
The best part is that my house is somewhat clean, the grocery shopping is done and I can just concentrate on me this weekend.

Happy Family Day tomorrow.

Walking

The sun was shining here again in Grande Prairie. Well most of the day. I raced home to take my dogs for walk. We had to cut it short because their little paws were having a hard time in the snow. It was only -3 today. I'm not sure what the issue was????

I got on the treadmill tonight. I walked for 30 minutes. I played Scrabble on my iPhone while I walked. I don't know if Bob would classify it as a "workout" but I was active and I'm going to take it.

I've realized that I'm a yoyo dieter. I loose the weight and then gain it back. I know this isn't healthy and maybe this time I'll make the right steps to keep it off. It's all about getting some exercise for me. That's my story and I'm sticking to it :-).

Off to bed

I did it again

Hello All,
I got on the treadmill again today. The sun is shining again today which I'm very thankful for. I don't know how people live in Vancouver and Seattle where it's cloudy and rainy for most of the winter? Although you can get out in the rain and walk around, you get really wet. I guess it's the same but somewhat different. Anyways I'm babbling again.

I'm taking each day, hour by hour. That's all I can do. I'm home today. Loving it. Not sure what to do next. So much that I want to do and somethings that I HAVE to do but don't want. How about the paperwork first.

TTYL

Sunday, Feb. 6th

I'm back. It's been a long 2 or so weeks. I've been in a bad, bad place but I think I've emerged. I'm done with winter. I want some nice weather. I keep asking myself, why do I live here??????
I feel my body is telling me to get my shit together. I've been waking up every morning with a sore back. I know it's because I haven't been exercising and all I do when I get home is lay around. This isn't good for me but I don't have the strength or drive to do anything else.

Yesterday was especially challenging. We've had a lot of days without sun and I was missing it. Today is better. I walked on the treadmill for about 40 minutes and then I just got back from a walk outside. The weather is better today. A little bit crisp but the sun is SHINNING! I'm really missing it.

My goals have changed a bit. I need to exercise. How I'm going to do more of this I'm not sure but I do KNOW that I really do love going for a walk. I don't need any equipment, special clothes, etc. I just want to get out and walk. Today after being on the treadmill and then going outside my back was already feeling better. I can't walk as fast as I used to but I'm okay with that. Baby steps right.

I may fall off the wagon again but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I knew this was going to be hard and it is.

Monday, January 25th

I can't believe there is only another week in January. Where did the month go?????? Well I haven't exercised since last week. Not feeling so hot tonight. Nose is running and I've got 0 energy. I'm going to have a cup of Green Tea and head to bed soon.

Hope you all had a productive, relaxing weekend. Talk soon.

January 21st, 2010

I'm here Shel. I've been busy. I must say that when I'm busy, I get totally thrown off my schedule and it takes me several days to get back. I've got to learn to deal with this. I've also learned that when I'm tired like I was on Monday and especially Tuesday of this week. I EAT!!!! Yes, I'm confessing I've been really bad. Today is Thursday and I'm feeling rested.

When I get busy I don't want to do ANYTHING! I don't know if others feel the same. I just have no desire to do school work, house work, or any other kind of work especially working out. I'm okay with this for now. I know I'll snap out of it, at least I hope I will. Part of the problem is that I've taken on too much which then means I can't deal with any of it. I'm on the right track to realizing this. I said it wasn't going to happen over night. I'm learning some stuff about myself which is what all of this is about.

Supervision is calling my name. Got to go.